Dating in my generation is a joke.
What is a date?
date: a social or romantic appointment or engagement
What is an appointment?
appointment: an arrangement to meet someone at a particular time and place
What is an engagement?
engagement: an arrangement to do something or go somewhere at a fixed time
What is dating in the 21st century for millennials for 200 Alex?
I can tell you what it's not. It's not an agreement to meet up at a certain time. It's not a man coming to pick up a woman to go to an event. It's not romantic.
Its:
"Come chill."
"I'll come over after I get back from downtown tonight."
"Let's grab food sometime." (aka never, and if it happens you're paying for yourself)
"I wanna watch a movie." (aka drop what you're doing and come over)
At 2 AM when the bars are closing: "What're you doing after this? Wanna hang out?"
I know quite a few women who have gotten engaged this past year - including my sister - to men they've been in a relationship with for a long time. Sometimes I'll share dating woes of the 21st century with them and a few of the girls I know have told me "I don't think I'd know what to do or how to date if XYZ and I broke up."
I'm not even surprised they said that.
Even though I live in a college town, full of college-aged men (and women) who choose to participate in the random hook-up culture that is so prevalent now, I don't want to do that.
I don't want a random hook-up.
I want a relationship.
Shoot, I want a date.
And real dates are hard to have when many other woman around me are willing to settle for "dates" of cuddling on the couch and watching Netflix or last minute Zaxby's instead of being asked out to dinner at 8pm next Friday at that fancy restaurant you've always wanted to try... and as someone who isn't willing to settle anymore - no matter what town I live in - it's very frustrating.
So with all of that said, I've begun dating.
Legitimate dating.
As in: pick me up, take me out, drop me back off at home.
Each date - no matter how bad it may go - will be documented here for all of your viewing pleasure.
My Date with Mr. French
Mr. French has been actively pursuing me since I met him.
We met back in November as I was walking up to my apartment after a long day at clinical. Since I was still dressed in my scrubs, he made a comment about having a doctor in the building and laughed.
Hello accent.
Exhausted and not in the mood for banter, I corrected him and kept it moving. Eventually he got me to stop walking, we introduced ourselves, exchanged a few words and I gave him my number.
Two minutes later "Hey, it's Mr. French."
For the next couple weeks, he would text me late at night to just ask questions and get to know me, but I wasn't interested... With finals and clinical going on, I wanted to stay focused on school and to be honest, if you text me after 10PM and you're not my best friend, I probably won't answer you (unless it's an emergency).
At one point he asked me why I wasn't dating anybody and I explained that I was crazy though I wasn't opposed to dating, I wanted to focus on finishing school and building my relationship with God.
However, I decided to finally give him a chance this past Friday because if you never step outside of your comfort zone, you'll always get the same results.
He comes by my apartment around 6:45 and we walk to his car. He opens my door for me and we head to a nice restaurant downtown. No serious red flags at this point though he kept looking at me for too long while he was driving and was being a little speed racer-ish. We get to the restaurant and when we're asked if we want any wine, I say no because I have to go to work at 11 PM and he proceeds to order a bottle of wine... Aside from that, dinner went well for the most part until he again asked why I'm not dating anyone. I explain again why I've chosen not to date and he agrees and understands. Cool. We're on the same page.
Or so I thought...
We finally get in the car to go home and he walks me to the floor where our apartments are in opposite directions. I give him a hug, say the whole "Thanks for dinner, I had a good time and I really appreciated it. I'll see you later" speech when I realize he has a death grip around my waist.
I pull my head back and attempt to turn my body and walk away when he goes in FOR A KISS ON THE LIPS. I turn my head so that he'll get my cheek if anything, like the European kiss, but ol' boy tries to attack my face with his mouth and all I can muster out is "Um uh no" *insert head wiggle*... I finally get free and look at him like WHERE IN THE WORLD and WTF? And WHEN did the signal that I wanted this come from!?
First date dude. We aren't that friendly.
And then I ran off to go get ready for work without looking back.
