I read an article back on Valentine's Day and it was about love. It was comical actually, but it began: "Here's a word of advice this Valentine's Day: Don't marry for love. Before you hopeless romantics hurl a chocolate heart at my head, let me qualify that. What I really mean is this: Don't marry only (or even mostly) for love."
The funny thing is, I was a hopeless romantic when I started reading this article; however after reading it all the way through, reality hit me. It's true. The author of this article said it so well that I have no other choice but to paste her words: "There is a lot of conventional wisdom on the key to a successful marriage. Mary someone you love. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who can put up with you. Marry someone who is financially secure. Marry someone with similar values, common interests, and a good education. All are good advice. But after years of thinking about and studying this country's epidemic, I now believe the key to a successful marriage is when the couple is more committed to the health and longevity of the marriage than to each other. That way, during those times when they can't stand each other - and those times surely will come, as no one is perfect- they have something to fall back on and remain committed to. "
I LOVE this article and it was actually a guest writer who was featured in the AJC. She made me realize that even though I'm obviously not at an age suitable for marriage, my relationships now and how I deal with them will affect my marriage when that time comes. If I leave I guy I "love" get into an argument and I leave because of that fight, I obviously was never committed to him in the first place. That also makes me wonder though: at a young age, should people really try to be in committed, monogamous relationships? Or should we date around and see what we like, much like shopping for a car? Should we "try on" different people and see what "fits" the best and makes us feel the best? Or if we are lucky enough to find "the one" (or in our eyes at that moment), should we stay faithful and loyal as if we were going to get married right then?
I have a love/hate for being in a relationship, because I also love being single. I know I don't need a man, but I love the company of one. I love being able to say I have someone that'll be there for me no matter what, that I can share experiences, memories, and laughter with. One that supports me and my decisions, just like I do for him. However, that hasn't been true of any of my past relationships so I don't even know what that feels like.
This is probably a ramble to y'all, but I swear in my head, it all makes sense.
